


Danganronpa: Despair Texting Club

by Laraha (LauLilly), LauLilly



Series: Crack Series [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Crack, Everyone's gay for Makoto, F/F, F/M, Human Monokuma (Dangan Ronpa), Leon is a manwhore, Memes, Nagito is mental af, Other, Taka Is my softy boi, Texting, hajime and chiaki are the only sane ones, popular vines, references to black butler and ace attorney, references to despair girls, teru has his face up everyones ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21780760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauLilly/pseuds/Laraha, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauLilly/pseuds/LauLilly
Summary: Monokuma makes a chat group.Chaos has already started.(SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR DR1 AND DR2)
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito/Naegi Makoto, Maizono Sayaka/Mioda Ibuki, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Series: Crack Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550548
Comments: 16
Kudos: 131





	1. best boi arguements

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone's users:
> 
> Monokuma: sadistasshole
> 
> Makoto Naegi: innocentcinnamonroll
> 
> Byakuya Togami: alois'twin
> 
> Aoi Asahina: powdereddonuts
> 
> Yasuhiro Hagakure: wildhair1.0
> 
> Ultimate Imposter: curvyboi
> 
> Hiyoko Saionji: rude_bitch
> 
> Mahiru Koizumi: sweetapples
> 
> Teruteru Hanamaru: pantylover
> 
> Nekomaru Nidai: masterofshitting
> 
> Komaru Naegi: innocentbeanbun
> 
> Kyoko Kirigiri: bestgirl
> 
> Mikan Tsumiki: sweet_psycho
> 
> Mukuro Ikusaba: angelface
> 
> Hajime Hinata: saneperson
> 
> Nagito Komaeda: mentalbestboi
> 
> Izuru Kamukura: wildhair2.0
> 
> Akane Owari: KFClover
> 
> Ishimaru Kiyotaka: sweetchild
> 
> Toko Fukawa: nippleslave
> 
> Leon Kuwata: manwhore
> 
> Sakura Ogami: cherryblossom
> 
> Celestia Ludenberg: gothlolita
> 
> Hifumi Yamada: boobfreak
> 
> Junko Enoshima: bigbreastednightmare
> 
> Chiaki Nanami: gamergal
> 
> Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: baby_gangsta
> 
> Peko Pekoyama: swordgirl
> 
> Sonia Nevermind: dumbblonde
> 
> Gundham Tanaka: hamsterlover
> 
> Sayaka Maizono: pornstar
> 
> Chihiro Fujisaki: bigballs
> 
> Kazuichi Soda: datasstho
> 
> Ibuki Mioda: coffeeaddict
> 
> Mondo Oowada: cornhair

_**sadistasshole has created a new group chat!** _

sadistasshole: yo, bitches get your ass in here

_Hiyoko Saionji has joined the chat!_

Hiyoko Saionji: you interrupted me and mahiru's date for this crap?!

sadistasshole: sorry, had to ruin your little lesbian date

_Mahiru Koizumi has joined the chat!_

Mahiru Koizumi: it wasn't a date damnit

_Chihiro Fujisaki has joined the chat!_

Hiyoko Saionji: ew

Chihiro Fujisaki: :/

**_sadistasshole has changed Hiyoko Saionji's nickname to rude_bitch!_ **

sadistasshole: that nickname suits you better

rude_bitch: asshole

sadistasshole: what asshole? you mean mine?

sadistasshole: what's your head doing that far up my ass anyway?

_Makoto Naegi has joined the chat!_

Chihiro Fujisaki: Ayeee

Makoto Naegi: ayeeeeee

_Aoi Asahina has joined the chat!_

Aoi Asahina: AYEEEEEEE

rude_bitch: wtf

Makoto Naegi: who da flup is dat?

Chihiro Fujisaki: its hiyoko-bitch

Makoto Naegi: oh, the nickname suits her well.

_**sadistasshole has changed Makoto Naegi's username to innocentcinnamonroll!** _

_Yasuhiro Hagakure has joined the chat!  
_

Yasuhiro Hagakure: AYEEEEE

Aoi Asahina: AYEEEEEEE

Mahiru Koizumi: and you all lost me...

innocentcinnamonroll: yay

Aoi Asahina: oh cmon i want one too!

_**sadistasshole has changed Aoi Asahina's username to powdereddonuts!** _

powdereddonuts: YAS

_Sakura Ogami has joined the chat!_

powdereddonuts: BAEEEE

_**sadistasshole has changed Yasuhiro Hagakure's username to wildhair1.0!** _

wildhair1.0: yeet

rude_bitch: excuse me, what the fuck was that

_Byakuya Togami has joined the chat!_

innocentcinnamonroll: eh, thats strange toko isnt here

_Toko Fukawa has joined the chat!_

Byakuya Togami: damn it

innocentcinnamonroll: nvm

wildhair1.0: he jinxed it

_**sadistasshole has changed Mahiru Koizumi's username to sweetapples!** _

sweetapples: ...what was the purpose of that...?

_Nagito Komaeda has joined the chat!_

wildhair1.0: OH SHIT

sweetapples: RUN MY CHILDREN

innocentcinnamonroll: ayeeee

Nagito Komaeda: ayeeeee

_**sadistasshole has changed Byakuya Togami's username to alois'twin!** _

alois'twin:...

alois'twin: oh hell no.

powdereddonuts: OMG

powdereddonuts: IT MAKES SENSE

wildhair1.0: well, both are rich and unstable.

Nagito Komaeda: excuse me, the unstable trophy is mine bitch, back off.

innocentcinnamonroll: baeee

Nagito Komaeda: baeee

alois'twin: ...

Toko Fukawa: ew, gays

wildhair1.0: pretty sure everyones gay for makoto anyway.

_Akane Owari has joined that chat_

Akane Owari: YOO

rude_bitch: oh great, kfc lover is here

sadistasshole: i just came up with something...

_**sadistasshole has changed Akane Owari's username to KFClover!** _

KFClover: :0

alois'twin: i feel insulted

Sakura Ogami: at what, yourself?

powdereddonuts: OOOH BURN

wildhair1.0: DAYUM

_**sadistasshole has changed Toko Fukawa's username to nippleslave!** _

nippleslave: ...

Nagito Komaeda: is this about the pretty nipple thing?

innocentcinnamonroll: please don't bring that up

_**sadistasshole has changed Nagito Komaeda's username to mentalbestboi** _

wildhair1.0: wait, i thought tobitch was best boy?

alois'twin: correction, i still am.

powdereddonuts: if you're counting toko then your popularity has already hit the drain.

alois'twin: ....

mentalbestboi: i bet i have way more fanfics than saltydude

alois'twin: come at me bitch

_Ishimaru Kiyotaka has joined the chat!_

mentalbestboi: could you repeat that?

alois'twin: ...i hate you

mentalbestboi: the feeling is mutual.

nippleslave: how could you even hate him?!

wildhair1.0: yo, togami tell your bitch to shut her mouth, she isn't talking but she's already annoying

alois'twin: i dont even recall giving her permission to even breathe.

KFClover: aw pooh, the whole group isnt here yet

Ishimaru Kiyotaka: Ahem, language.

_**sadistasshole has changed Ishimaru Kiyotaka's username to sweetchild!** _

innocentcinnamonroll: we just need the manwhore, Mondo and Sayaka and the trio is complete.

KFClover: whos manwhore?

_Leon Kuwata has joined the chat!_

innocentcinnamonroll: andddd there he is

sadistasshole: hold on, you forgot gothy bitch and the fat dude.

innocentcinnamonroll: i dont really count hifumi tbh

_Celestia Ludenberg has joined the chat!_

Leon Kuwata: yooo

Chihiro Fujisaki: hold on, the chat has no name.

**_Chihiro Fujisaki changed the chatroom name to makoto is best boi_ **

mentalbestboi: i agree with this

alois'twin: i wholeheartedly do not.

nippleslave: are you blind?! change that to togami!

alois'twin: i don't recall giving you permission to be here.

_**alois'twin has kicked nippleslave out the chatroom!** _

sadistasshole: HOLD ON HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU DO THAT

sadistasshole: I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU ADMIN

innocentcinnamonroll: nah, nagito is best boi

mentalbestboi: no u are

_Hajime Hinata has joined the chat!_

_**Chihiro Fujisaki has changed Chihiro Fujisaki's username to bigballs** _

Hajime Hinata: ...what the hell did i walk into?

Leon Kuwata: welcome to the land of gays

KFClover: i have no sexuality, thank you.

rude_bitch: of course not, you can't have one if you lust after chicken.

rude_bitch: still a whore leon?

Leon Kuwata: i was a whore when i was born, a little too late for that dear.

innocentcinnamonroll: lol

Celestia Ludenberg: im starting to regret the fact that i joined this land of insanity...

Hajime Hinata: yo, can i unsubscribe?

mentalbestboi: why would you want to?

powdereddonuts: everyone who thinks makoto is best say aye

powereddonuts: aye

wildhair1.0: aye

mentalbestboi: aye

sweetchild: nae

alois'twin: nae

mentalbestboi: XCUSE ME HOES

wildhair1.0: OOOH SNAP

mentalbestboi: who da faq is better than makoto cause i will rip their head off their body

Hajime Hinata: I can believe you would do that since you set up chi-

sadistasshole: STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL BITCH

sweetchild: mondo is obv better

mentalbestboi: WAT

powdereddonuts: never knew you liked corn hair taka.

Sakura Ogami: i had a feeling he would say that...

KFClover: ^_^

alois'twin: im obviously best boy

mentalbestboi: we already started this, makoto is best boy

alois'twin: he's plain, and a commoner whats so good about him?

innocentcinnamonroll: :(

_Kyoko Kirigiri has joined the chat!_

**_sadistasshole has changed Leon Kuwata's username to manwhore!_ **

****

Kyoko Kirgiri: ....living up to the title i assume

manwhore: hell yes i am

innocentcinnamonroll: kyokooo byakuya is bullying me :(

Kyoko Kirigiri: wtf did you do to makoto

mentalbestboi: he said makoto wasnt best boy

wildhair1.0: *gasppp*

Sakura Ogami: i have the wrench

powdereddonuts: i have the saw

mentalbestboi: IMMA KILL A BITCH

Kyoko Kirigiri: okay, who's driving

manwhore: dayum, byakuya you need to run

alois'twin: try me bitch

sweetchild: NO CUSSING!!!

_Mondo Oowada has joined the chat!_

sweetchild: MONDOOOO

rude_bitch: ewww corn hair

Celestia Ludenberg: looks like the team 1 is here

powdereddonuts: arent we missing hifumi?

Celestia Ludenberg: blobs arent welcomed here

_Hifumi Yamada has joined the chat!_

Celestia Ludenberg: fuckcickles.

_**sadistasshole has changed Mondo Oowada's username to cornhair** _

innocentcinnamonroll: lol

alois'twin: team 1 is complete

sweetchild: wheres toko?

alois'twin: shes not needed.

_nippleslave has joined the chat!_

alois'twin: WTF

wildhair1.0: lol

powdereddonuts: sakuraaa come over so we can watch anime

wildhair1.0: can i join?

powdereddonuts: NO NO BOYS ALLOWED

powdereddonuts: except makoto, because he's not nasty minded

wildhair1.0: are you sure it isnt because he's gay?

innocentcinnamonroll: im bi hoe

mentalbestboi: doesnt matter cause he loves my ass

Hajime Hinata: ew, wtf

_Chiaki Nanami has joined the chat!_

_Chiaki Nanami has left the chat!_

sadistasshole: oh hell no

_sadistasshole has added Chiaki Nanami to the chat!_

_Chiaki Nanami has left the chat!_

_sadistasshole has added Chiaki Nanami to the chat!_

_Chiaki Nanami has left the chat!_

_sadistasshole has added Chiaki Nanami to the chat!_

sadistasshole: STAY DAMNIT

Chiaki Nanami: urgh

Hajime Hinata: CHIAKI TAKE ME OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!

_Chiaki Nanami has kidnapped Hajime Hinata out of the chat!_

sadistasshole: hold on, wtf

bigballs: THATS MY LINE

innocentcinnamonroll: welp, imma go to asahina's and pray that she and sakura wont make out in front of me

mentalbestboi: DONT YOU DARE TAINT MY BABY'S EYES!

powdereddonuts: oh chill, he has to know about anal fisting one day

innocentcinnamonroll: ...fisting?

innocentcinnamonroll: *passes out*

mentalbestboi: LOOK WHAT YOU DID!


	2. byakuya vs nagito. who's hotter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nnocentcinnamonroll: ILL DATE BOTH OF YOU, OKAY?! DONT FIGHT
> 
> alois'twin: ...
> 
> mentalbestboi: ( ⁄-⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄-⁄)⁄
> 
> sadistasshole: *chokes on popcorn*
> 
> sadistasshole: NANI?!
> 
> wildhair1.0: top ten anime plottwists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's users:
> 
> Monokuma: sadistasshole
> 
> Makoto Naegi: innocentcinnamonroll
> 
> Byakuya Togami: alois'twin
> 
> Aoi Asahina: powdereddonuts
> 
> Yasuhiro Hagakure: wildhair1.0
> 
> Ultimate Imposter: curvyboi
> 
> Hiyoko Saionji: rude_bitch
> 
> Mahiru Koizumi: sweetapples
> 
> Teruteru Hanamaru: pantylover
> 
> Nekomaru Nidai: masterofshitting
> 
> Komaru Naegi: innocentbeanbun
> 
> Kyoko Kirigiri: bestgirl
> 
> Mikan Tsumiki: sweet_psycho
> 
> Mukuro Ikusaba: angelface
> 
> Hajime Hinata: saneperson
> 
> Nagito Komaeda: mentalbestboi
> 
> Izuru Kamukura: wildhair2.0
> 
> Akane Owari: KFClover
> 
> Ishimaru Kiyotaka: sweetchild
> 
> Toko Fukawa: nippleslave
> 
> Leon Kuwata: manwhore
> 
> Sakura Ogami: cherryblossom
> 
> Celestia Ludenberg: gothlolita
> 
> Hifumi Yamada: boobfreak
> 
> Junko Enoshima: bigbreastednightmare
> 
> Chiaki Nanami: gamergal
> 
> Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: baby_gangsta
> 
> Peko Pekoyama: swordgirl
> 
> Sonia Nevermind: dumbblonde
> 
> Gundham Tanaka: hamsterlover
> 
> Sayaka Maizono: pornstar
> 
> Chihiro Fujisaki: bigballs
> 
> Kazuichi Soda: datasstho
> 
> Ibuki Mioda: coffeeaddict
> 
> Mondo Oowada: cornhair

sadistasshole: MORNING BITCHES

mentalbestboi: what a nice welcoming to a chat i dont want to even be in

alois'twin: i think we can all agree on that

cherryblossom: good morning to you as well.

powdereddonuts: MORNING!!!

coffeeaddict: Bah. Ibuki thinks you're all being boring, 'good morning' this 'good morning' that

coffeeaddict: ADD SOME SPICE TO IT!

cornhair: MORNIN' YA SHITS

coffeeaddict: thats too much spice....

baby_gangsta: morning shitheads

sweetchild: Mondo! I said watch the language!

cornhair: its not a big deal, bro

coffeeaddict: omggggg

powdereddonuts: I ship it

_bigbreastednightmare has joined the chat!_

sweetchild: Fxxk

cornhair: ...thats not even cursing you blocked the rest of the words

mentalbestboi: LOOK! THERE'S SOMEONE CRAZIER THAN ME!

saneperson: well shit

masterofshitting: WHO SHITTED

KFClover: neko, no.

rude_bitch: well fuck

sadistasshole: up the ass or vagina?

powdereddonuts: what if theres no ass or vagina?

mentalbestboi: theres the mouth.

gamergal: nagito...no.

mentalbestboi: when theres a hole, theres a way darling.

alois'twin: i hope this isn't going to become a biology class...

KFClover: i smell semen and eggs

sweetapples: tf?

masterofshitting: its bitchoko

innocentcinnamonroll: morning everyone!

mentalbestboi: MY BOI

powdereddonuts: good morning!

bestgirl: morning naegi-kun.

cherryblossom: it is good that you are awake, makoto.

alois'twin: ... was all that greeting for him necessary???

powdereddonuts: MAKOTO IS THE MAIN, MAIN PROTAG OK-

sadistasshole: bitch, if you break that wall one more time-

rude_bitch: lets stuff the wall up your ass then.

saneperson: and now you lost me...

mentalbestboi: oh shut up alois 2.0

alois'twin: fuck off.

nippleslave: correction, theres a difference between master and alois

powdereddonuts: the fact that byakuya doesnt have a hot butler like claude?

innocentcinnamonroll: I'd kill to have a man like claude

wildhair1.0: he doesn't get enough love in my opinion tbh

cherryblossom: like you?

bigbreastednightmare: BURNNN BOI

pornstar: she speaks!!

innocentcinnamonroll: SAYAKA!

pornstar: MAKOTOOOO

wildhair1.0: that hurt damn it

angelface: good morning-

bigbreastednightmare: mornin sis!

angelface: oh FUCK no

_angelface has left the chat!_

sweetapples: i dont blame her

gothlolita: do any of us truly blame her?

alois'twin: finally, someone with some sense.

gothlolita: AYEEEE

alois'twin: AYEEEEEE

nippleslave: Ayeeee?

alois'twin: bitch you aint invited

bigballs: BURNNNN

KFClover: guys, look. at. this.

*image sent*

innocentcinnamonroll: ....

pornstar: wtf is that

bigbreastednightmare: it looks like a dick

mentalbestboi: of course itdoes to you, thats what all sluts see

powdereddonuts: BURNNN SAHNNNNN

wildhair1.0: seriously akane, wth is dat

KFClover: junkbitcho finally got it right, its a chocolate dick.

innocentcinnamonroll: excuse me bitch

rude_bitch: wth you that thirsty for a boyfriend so you buy a chocolate in the shape of a dick?

masterofshitting: akane, we've been over this

KFClover: BUT-

masterofshitting: so chocolate is better than 'it' huh.

saneperson: not the 'it' thing again...

datasstho: morning suckkaassssss

saneperson: BRO

datasstho: BRO

mentalbestboi: sweet mama of oreos whys shark teeth here?

saneperson: oi! leave my bro alone hoe!

mentalbestboi: WHO YOU CALLING A HOE FAT ASS?

innocentcinnamonroll: nagito no-

wildhair1.0" okay, cant we go back to black butler ?

powdereddonuts: Yasss

cherryblossom: aoi actually cried during an episode

wildhair1.0: was it the one when sebastian-chan fucked the nun?

cherryblossom: yeah

innocentcinnamonroll: seb is a slut.

innocentcinnamonroll: a hot slut tho.

mentalbestboi: ill be your slut all day makoto ❤~

alois'twin: ....thats disgusting

innocentcinnamonroll: no, nagito. you're too pure for that

saneperson: PURE?!

gamergal: wtf do you see?

datasstho: obviously a guy that needs to be on pills

mentalbestboi: now, now byakuya. don't judge makoto for his preferences.

alois'twin: ....

alois'twin: toko, be a dear and get a knife for me

nippleslave: of course!

mentalbestboi: oh no, im so scared, whats the mentally scarred boi gonna do?

saneperson: pretty sure that describes you, nagito

gamergal: BYAKUYA IM ROOTING FOR YOU!

datasstho: im betting my one dollar on you!

saneperson: bitch. thats not even real money

datasstho: shut up, im broke.

innocentcinnamonroll: wait! dont fight!

mentalbestboi: yeah, wouldn't want makoto to hate you more than he already does

alois'twin: okay bitch-

innocentcinnamonroll: ILL DATE BOTH OF YOU, OKAY?! DONT FIGHT

alois'twin: ...

mentalbestboi: ( ⁄-⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄-⁄)⁄

sadistasshole: *chokes on popcorn*

sadistasshole: NANI?!

wildhair1.0: top ten anime plottwists

bestgirl: that...was unexpected

mentalbestboi: well, byabitch? will you endure the pain ill give you when you enter this relationship?

mentalbestboi: or will you run to that garbage disposal bin?

nippleslave: master wouldn't abadon me-

alois'twin: *cuddles beside makoto*

nippleslave: *le gasp!*

sadistasshole; your master ditched your ass honey, here have a tissue

powdereddonuts: so...should we expect babies soon?

bigbreastednightmare: is male pregnancy a thing anymore?

wildhair1.0: HEY THATS DISCRIMINATION!

cherryblossom: ...im just going to watch my very adult show

powdereddonuts: OOH My little pony?

cherryblossom: no its porn

wildhair1.0: stop lying.

bestgirl: have you ever thought its my little pony porn?

rude_bitch: somethings wrong with you bitches.


	3. The one with piss, semen and perfume

sadistasshole: JUNKO ENOSHIMA

bigbreastednightmare: ?

innocentcinnamonroll: whatd she do now?

sadistasshole: WHO DA FAQ PUT SEMEN AND PISS IN MY SANDWICH?

KFClover: LOL

cornhair: you probs deserve it

wildhair2.0: bitches go to sleep, its too early for this shit

saneperson: bro, its 5 pm

wildhair2.0: thats worse

alois'twin: wha happened now?

mentalbestboi: somebody pissed and jacked off into monokuma's sandwich

sadistasshole: AND IT WAS MY BONDAGE SANDWICH

innocentcinnamonroll: ...

powdereddonuts: ...

mentalbestboi: fifty shades of piss

innocentcinnamonroll: nagito, no

alois'twin: at least nobody put perfume in your cereal

bestgirl: who does that?

pornstar: obviously junko, the attention whore

sadistasshole: somebody knows their own kind

_pornstar has left the chat_

bigbreastednightmare: LOL

cornhair: welp, that explains all the condoms at her dorms

innocentcinnamonroll: hold a fuck-

gothlolita: WUT

coffeeaddict: NANI?

sweetchild: WHY WERE YOU AT HER DORM MONDO?

cornhair: WAIT ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

sweetchild: I TRUSTED YOU

cornhair: SHE DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING TO ME

alois'twin: okay, how many blowjobs have the guys received from sayaka?

mentalbestboi: none

saneperson: ...2

innocentcinnamonroll: 5

alois'twin: ...

mentalbestboi: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY

innocentcinnamonroll: IM FUCKING BI DAMN IT

alois'twin: ...mondo?

cornhair: none

sweetchild: thats a lie

sweetchild: THATS A FUCKING ASS LIE IF IVE EVER SEEN ONE BITCH

innocentcinnamonroll: OH FUCK-

powereddonuts: when taka curses you know shits gonna go down

rude_bitch: okay i wake up and see dis shit-

rude_bitch: also, i was the one who pissed into your sandwich monokuma.

sadistasshole: ...but where did the semen come from

rude_bitch: oh i barfed it

sweetchild: to barf semen you need to drink it-

innocentcinnamonroll: I THOUGHT SHE WAS LESBIAN

rude_bitch im straight dumbfuck

cornhair: i literally just saw you making out with mahiru yesterday

rude_bitch: snitch.

sweetchild: who did you even suck off?

rude_bitch: ill gladly tell you since im a homewrecker

cornhair: HIYOKO NO

sweetchild: wait...

sweetchild: YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH HIYOKO TOO?

rude_bitch: what do you mean? i didnt suck mondo off

rude_bitch: i gave him perfume.

alois'twin: ...

cornhair: i was going to give it to taka but i dropped into a bowl of milk

alois'twin: BITCH

alois'twin: THAT WAS MY FUCKING BOWL OF MILK

alois'twin: YOU DROPPED A WHOLE BOTTLE OF PERFUME INTO MY MILK THAT HAS GLASS IN IT

innocentcinnamonroll: lmao

sweetchild: mondo, i know you still cheated on me with sayaka-

cornhair: I DINT

sadistasshole: DINT?

sweetchild: YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR 

sweetchild: I THOUGHT I COULD FUCKING TRUSTYOU

wildhair2.0: WOAH

saneperson: YOU GOOD MAN?

sweetchild: NO IM NOT FUCKING GOOD

sweetchild: I GAVE MY VIRGINITY TO THAT PIECE OF SHIT

sweetchild: SIXTY NINE

alois'twin: _snort_

sweetchild: IM FUCKING PREGNANT AND YOU HAVE SOMEBODY BESIDES ME SUCK YOU OFF

bigbreastednightmare: hold on-

coffeeaddict: WAIT WUTTT

angelface: you what now-

mentalbestboi: YOURE PREGNANT?!

innocentcinnamonroll: *chews on popcorn*

cornhair: WHAT

cornhair: wait a second..

cornhair: TAKA

cornhair: YOU DONT HAVE A VAGINA

wildhair1.0: DONT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST MALE PREGNANCY

sweetapples: YEH

innocentcinnamonroll: whered you two come from

mentalbestboi: they were fuqing

saneperson: NAGITO WTF

wildhair1.0: actually we were

nippleslave: STFU

mentalbestboi: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP

gothlolita: WE'RE TEXTING WE CANT SHUT UP

bestgirl: i think im getting a migraine...

innocentcinnamonroll: aww kyokonut

innocentcinnamonroll: want a massage?

bestgirl: please

wildhair1.0: ALOIS NAGITO

alois'twin: ALOIS IS NOT MY FUCKING NAME

wildhair1.0: ms. kyoko gonna steal yours man

powereddonuts: ms. steal yo man

alois'twin: oh hell no

sadistasshole: at least i know who fucked up my damn sandwich.


	4. wtf happened

innocentcinnamonroll: i have a question,

bestgirl: what is it, naegi-kun?

innocentcinnamonroll: are none of us going to question the events from yesterday?

saneperson: ?

innocentcinnamonroll: like, mondo claims he's never cheated on taka

innocentcinnamonroll: we dont know who hiyoko sucked off yesterday

innocentcinnamonroll: mahiru and yasuhiro had sex for idk what reason

sweetapples: i was desperate.

wildhair1.0: ;-;

innocentcinnamonroll: and is nobody going to question why izuru talked yesterday, or where sayaka is?

wildhair2.0: teru is with sayaka

alois'twin: that...

mentalbestboi: not questioning that

_Makoto Naegi created a new chat named 'Makoto's Harem'_

_Makoto Naegi Invited Nagito Komaeda, Byakuya Togami and 1 other._

_Makoto's Harem GC_

innocentcinnamonroll: okay guys.

alois'twin: ??? why did you make this-

mentalbestboi: WHOS THE OTHER CONCUBINE

pornstar: me.

mentalbestboi: ...

innocentcinnamonroll: guys, i made this chat so we can discuss sayaka's punishment for cheating on us

mentalbestboi: i dont recall sayaka ever bein in the relationship but mkay

innocentcinnamonroll: sayaka cheated on us...

innocentcinnamonroll: with teruteru

alois'twin: ...wtf

pornstar: i was horny okay

mentalbestboi: BICH YOU CHEATED ON MAKOTO WITH THE UGLIEST THING

alois'twin: Lets burn her body

innocentcinnamonroll: no

mentalbestboi: that was celeste'-

innocentcinnamonroll: NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL

alois'twin: hol up something is going on in main gc

_Main gc_

sweetapples: I THINK ITS COMING

rude_bitch: I WANT A DNA TEST

wildhair1.0: BITCH THAT BABY IS OBVIOUSLY MINE

alois'twin: what baby?

wildhair2.0: apparently mahiru got pregnant and contracted stds and is giving birth.

mentalbestboi: ...tf?

innocentcinnamonroll: we only left for five minutes....

_the baby crawls out of mahiru's coochie._

baby-kokichi: WAHHH!

wildhair1.0: holy fuck it's ugly

sweetapples: WHAT IS IT?!

rude_bitch: idk what the fuck it is but it looks like herobrine and john doe had a threesome with ciel on black butler.

baby-kokichi: excuse me bitch, but what the fuck did you just say

wildhair2.0: thats not a baby

wildhair2.0: thats just a bitch.

saneperson: LOLLOLLOL

gamergal: whos the father tho

sweetapples: uhh

wildhair1.0: YOU DONT KNOW!?

sweetapples: nagito is the father

mentalbestboi: NANI?

innocentcinnamonroll: MAHIRU DONT BE TELLING LIES

innocentcinnamonroll: MY MAN DONT WANT YOUR NASTY ASS COOCHIE

bigballs: DAMN

bigbreastednightmare: i leave for a few minutes and this chat is in fucking chaos-

sadistasshole: OKAY WHO THE FUCK HAD A BABY?

sweetapples: ME

sadistasshole: listen, bitch

sadistasshole: fucking is allowed

sadistasshole: BUT YOU SHOULDVE USED A CONDOM

alois'twin: smh

sweetapples: I DID

wildhair1.0: i just wripped it off with my muscular dick

rude_bitch: PFFT

alois'twin: please, none of you have muscle mass

mentalbestboi: OH PA-LEASE

mentalbestboi: LIKE YOU HAVE ANY MUSCLES LONG ASS LEGS

angelface: lmao

alois'twin: MY LEGS HAVE VOLUME BITCH

mentalbestboi: VOLUME MY ASS ALL YOU GOT IS LONG STICKS

baby-kokichi: yo, im hungry

sweetapples: get some food then

baby-kokichi: BITCH

baby-kokichi: DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN GET UP AND FEED MYSELF

sweetapples: hiro feed your son

wildhair1.0: THAT UGLY THANG AINT MY KID

masterofshitting: uhh...did something happen

rude_bitch: NEKO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MAHIRUS CHILD

cornhair: WAIT WUT

angelface: NANI?

coffeeaddict: DOUBLE NANI?

bestgirl: HELLO HELLO MY DUDES MY BROS MY FOES MY HOES I HAVE RECEIPTS

innocentcinnamonrol: LE GASP

pornstar: NO KYOKONUT DONT SHOW THEM I BEG YOU

alois'twin: why is sayaka panicking?

saneperson: *HIDES IN CORNER AND SWEATS*

bestgirl: I PRESENT THE MYSTERIES OF YESTERDAY

cornhair: KYOKO DONT YOU DARE

wildhair2.0: OH FUCK TO THE NO

masterofshitting: i...i feel like i need to take a shit.

bestgirl: BEHOLD

bestgirl: THE ONE HIYOKO SUCKED OFF...WAS NEKO

KFClover: *spits out chicken*

alois'twin: uh oh

nippleslave: you know shits gonna happen when akane spits out her food

masterofshitting: DID SOMEONE SAY SHIT

KFClover: HIYOKO CANT POSSIBLY HAVE SUCKED OFF NEKO

KFClover: HE HAS A FULL GROWN DICK

mentalbestboi: ...how many inches..

KFClover: 12.

mentalbestboi: I-

angelface: i have a better question...

angelface: how do you know that...

_KFClover has left the chat._

bestgirl: now thats out of the way

bestgirl: THE ONE MONDO CHEATED ON TAKA WITH WAS...A BITCH.

sweetboi: MONOKUMA?

sadistasshole: ME? BITCH I WISH HE WOULD.

cornhair: actually I had sex with junko but... 

sweetboi: THAT'S NOT ANY BETTER YOU ASS

bestgirl: AND THE ONE WHO HAD SEX WITH SAYAKA WAS NOT TERUTERU

innocentcinnamonroll: HOLD THE FUCKING PRESS

mentalbestboi: WHAT THE FUCK

saneperson: kyoko I swear

bestgirl: she had a threesome with izuru and hajime 

mentalbestboi: ...can't blame her.

innocentcinnamonroll: NAGITO WTF

KFClover: damn everyone is a ho.


End file.
